deal with conflictOne of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself is this: “If someone else was take over for me in my role right now, what are the first three things that they are going to change? What decisions will they make that I have avoided?”

You can ask this question about your persona life, as well. “If someone else who has already produced the results I want were to advise me, what are the three things they would tell me to do that I am not doing now?”

It doesn’t matter whether you are a leader, an entrepreneur, or an employee, this question hits its mark. There are things that you know you should be doing now, that you know will produce a better result, and that you have avoided doing for too long. The primary reason you have resisted doing what you know deep down needs to be done is because you are conflicted. The root of the word “conflicted” is “conflict.”

You resist making the change you need to make because doing what you need to do will cause a conflict with another person. You don’t want to have a difficult conversation, and you don’t want to argue. You don’t want someone to be angry with you or disappointed.

Another source of conflict could be internal. Maybe you believe that changing what need to change will threaten your identity, how you feel about yourself, or how others perceive you. You are comfortable now, and doing something different is going to be uncomfortable—for a while, anyway.

When conflicts are unaddressed, the status quo gains a hold on you—or your organization—preventing you from doing what needs to be done. There is only one thing you can do to do what is right and necessary, and that is to embrace the conflict.

If you need to have a very difficult conversation, have it. Waiting to have the conversation doesn’t make the conversation any less difficult. In fact, it likely makes it more difficult. If an issue needs resolved, then do the work to resolve it. Problems don’t age well. Tiny monsters grow up to be big monsters. You are always better to dispatch them when they are easier to handle, before they grow out of control.

If you are not who you are supposed to be, if you are not the biggest, best version of yourself, then you are not living your purpose. Your life is too precious to waste, and dealing with the conflicts that prevent you from being who you are is what’s necessary.

  • If someone who already has what you want were to advise you, what are the first three things they would tell you to do now?
  • What conflicts do you need to address—internal or external—to breakthrough and have the results you want?

Comment to send me your thoughts, ideas, and stories. Hit forward to send this newsletter to someone you know who could benefit from being unstuck. Ask them to join us here each Sunday by signing up at

Do good work this week, and I’ll see you back here next week!

Anthony Iannarino

P.S. There are still a few tickets left for OutBound Atlanta on April 13th, including a small handful of VIP Tickets. Come join us for a day of content on prospecting, pipeline, and productivity.

P.P.S. Here is a video I shot about my friend Jeb Blount’s new book, Sales EQ. I wrote the foreword for the book, because I believe so strongly that is it what is necessary now. Go buy it on now, or pick it up at your local Barnes & Noble.




Contributor Anthony Lannarino is an entrepreneur, speaker, author, and consultant. He writes daily at and you can subscribe to his newsletter at